By Janice Sioui

Director of Wellness

Do you rely on a to-do list to keep you on track for your daily goals or is it a parking place for everything you want to get done to feel accomplished and productive?  I have gone back and forth for years, trying to find the best fit for myself and my habits; knowing my own need to feel accomplished and productive.

There’s lots of advice on how to keep a list–with fewer items and more priority.  I do pretty well most of the time, yet I’ve struggled with momentum; the reason for continuing the list and enjoying the freedom that comes with a job well done.  Crossing items off the proverbial ‘to do list’ shows I am productive–so more check marks should mean more momentum right? Wrong. There are two things to dial into first–what is on your list and why.  Then, for real momentum, we must reflect on the day to remember our small wins and ‘feel them’. Feel them, you say?  I teach others to replace their habits and live more fully, so I decided it was time to take my own medicine and really try to feel the win more consistently.

I went for a walk and checked out a local trail that had been on my list to get out and explore in my effort to get more exercise.  As I headed out, I started thinking about the ‘wins’ in my lifetime (that’s a story for another day!), went for a 20 minute jaunt, and returned to share my experience with my associate and coach Mark.  His view? The walk was a win in two ways; that 1) I took it off my list and 2) I allowed myself the thinking space around how I might build more momentum.

The problem with keeping a long list is that we know we won’t finish it–even if we pick all the small things to get out of the way and check more off, there are still the big nuts left to crack and drag us down.  Conversely, if we pick only three things to accomplish, are they the right three things? Might we forget something important and does it include all of what really matters? To be confident in your list, ask yourself three questions:

1. Why do you keep your list?  It is important to know that some fears will keep you running the proverbial hamster wheel without a treat at the end of the journey.  Does it help you feel more value as a person? I use a list to keep me focused on what I want out of life and move me toward my goals, though formany years, it was the list that used to make me feel accomplished, not the tasks I crossed off.
2. What is on it?  They should be things you really care about; things that will improve your life and bring you joy.  If it is painting the shutters, consider (if you can’t delegate this one) what you will get to do because you are doing the work (it may be a reward, or it may mean what the money saved will allow you to do).  Maybe you are an artist and this is a statement you want to make! Bottom line, if it is on there, there needs to be a good reason for it.
3. What words populate it?  Is it weeding the garden or is it freeing the veggies to grow?  It is taking the kids to the store for shoes or is it shoe shopping fun with family?  Is it send a card, or is it your effort to lift someone up today?  We ‘get to do’ a lot of things because we are alive and have been blessed–and the words we choose will have an affect on our psyche.  Choose them with thought–it also creates great conversation when others see what is on it or you ask for support ?

Beyond the basic need of feeling valued, there is a need to stay focused, and there is nothing wrong with using a list to help.  People are relying on you. You have responsibilities and tasks that must be done. Pick three things you have to do as output. Then three items to progress your life the direction you desire.  When you check each off, remember to ask yourself about how it feels to be done. What is your criteria for a ‘win’? What or who did it change/what was the value? What new wisdom is now yours (maybe you realize it shouldn’t have been on the list!)?

Maybe you wouldn’t see a walk as a win.  Maybe checking it off the list is good enough for you.  I’m not here to judge–that was my MO for decades. My question to you is, what if there is more to life than ‘the list’?

Ever heard anybody recite the line “People don’t change?” Kind of like the line when someone says you get what you pay for! When I hear these lines, I immediately start to wonder if human beings feel that way due to a fixed mindset from bad experiences or disappointment. Making generalizations about all people or all situations is a losing proposition.

We all have the capacity to change. The problem is seeking or needing change feels daunting and brings about heightened levels of uncertainty, randomness, and inconsistency.

So here are some essential strategies to take into the new year as you consider your level of happiness, accomplishment, and sense of self.

1. Stop using the word change and instead replace it with a softer word like adjust, transition, or shift. If you get your inner voice convinced, you have a shot.
2. Self-Awareness – Recognize what’s holding you back. When you try to transition, what gets in your way? (Events, Emotions, People, Feelings, Baggage) etc.
3. Yoda – (Do or Do Not…There Is No Try) Let’s start focusing on the “why” reasons we want to change before we think of why or how we’ll fail. Exercising and eating better are among the most common areas people claim they want to transition. But then they remember trying a strategy before, exhausting multiple efforts that failed, or being too busy. As a result, people talk themselves out of it.
4. Contemplate and list the physical, emotional and intellectual negatives of not being able to make this shift and what is driving the improved habits you seek.
5. Rome wasn’t built in a day – making incremental adjustments is not only allowed, but preferred. You have to start somewhere and recognizing small victories demonstrate improvements to be proud of.
6. Forgiveness – push yourself hard enough to recognize progress, but not too much that you find yourself unwilling to stay at it. If you seek to work out four times per week and you miss one here and there, you don’t reset to zero. Quite the opposite. You have created a positive precedent of new behavior.
7. Tempting Fate – it is important to be around positive people, and just as important to remove temptation. The less you have to think about what to do, the more successful you’re likely to be.
8. Growth Mindset – Change…I mean transition, can be hard. The average person launches a change effort six separate times before it finally takes.
9. Could Have, Should Have, Would Have – If you’re thinking things like “I should do this”, or “I ought to do that”, it’s likely those are not your intrinsic values. They may motivate you to get started, but won’t be enough to keep you going.
10. On Life Support – Seek a coach who will hold you accountable and provide unconditional support. Research has shown that working with a personal coach supports you in achieving your professional or personal goals and enhances your chances of a successful outcome.

Know your why, believe in your capability, and identify the right support in order to shift your mindset and develop new habits.

“Success is not Final, failure Is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”

Winston Churchill

Mark Altman is the founder of MindsetGo and empowers individuals to maximize their potential to be more successful personally and professionally through team building, experiential learning, habit-change, skill development, and problem-solving. With over two decades of experience speaking and training on engagement, sales, customer service, and interpersonal skills, Mark has supported a diverse group of professionals in finance, insurance, manufacturing, healthcare, HR, non-profits and retail. His clients value his versatility and recognize him as a motivational trainer, thought leader, and intuitive listener.